The Monkey Run
The best roads on the planet, on the worst bikes in the universe
The Monkey Run invites you to attempt to ride across some of the most fantastic countries on the planet, on the worst bikes in the universe. What these diminutive bundles of joy lack in size, they more than make up for in unadulterated pleasure. It’s just you, and a tiny unreliable rolling turd getting stuck in some of the most remote places in the world.
Whether you decide to tackle the dunes of Morocco, fancy the challenge of Peru, or want to see just how good the roads and off-roads in Romania are, there is, quite simply, nothing quite like the sensation of a monkey throbbing between your legs.
The Monkey Bike
If a gigantic all-terrain dual-sport bike is a way of announcing to the world that you’ve got a tiny willy, a monkey bike serves to remind folk that you’re hung like a mule.
Lightweight and standing somewhere in the region of knee height, these bikes are designed with nimbleness in mind.
These crucial design features coupled with the laughable power output contribute to the safety feature of being already nearly on the ground and probably not going very fast when it inevitably all goes wrong. To top it off since you’re basically sitting on the tarmac it feels like you are travelling at unbelievable speeds when probably moving at less than 20mph.
They also have a super handy luggage rack over the rear wheel which can easily hold your wallet and maybe your keys.
Having a set route is about as tedious as being made to wear a knitted woollen vest by your granny in the height of summer. Therefore, we provide you with start and finish locations and leave the exploration up to you.
Because the Monkey Run is so brain-disintegrating amazing, we’ve decided to not limit it to just one place. We, therefore, currently run editions in Morocco, Peru and in Romania – with more locations being added when we imbibe enough gin and decide on somewhere new. Each country adds its own flavour though, so you can be guaranteed they’re all equally spicy in their own demented way.
Support, or lack of it
Because we love to wrap you in cotton wool, we’ll all ride in single file at 5mph with every 2nd rider being a medic, every 4th a mechanic and every 5th being someone’s nan so they can mop your faces with a saliva-drenched tissue if you accidentally dribble your din-dins down your chin.
Are we taking the piss?
You don’t get support on any of the Monkey Runs. That is not the point of our adventures at all. If you want your hand held 24/7 then we suggest you go back to dating 5 years olds, though that’s likely going to get you into a lot of trouble.
The Monkey Run was born when Adventurists founder and chief Idiot Tom Morgan tripped over a monkey bike once whilst out flying his favourite pink kite. As he fell to the floor screaming like a child, his tear-blurred vision was filled with the monkey bike up close and personal. It was love at first sight.
He knew instantly that these were, quite possibly, the perfect machine for global adventuring. With almost zero planning, he bought a couple of bikes, danced around at their micro-ness and pissed off to Morocco to see just how crap they were. The preliminary reconnaissance mission was a resounding success and he bought an entire fleet before you could even say ‘hang on Tom this idea is shi…’ and the Monkey Run was born.